


The Smallest Memory in a Desperate Time

by Lightning_Bee



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brotherly Love, Castiel Angst, Gen, Hurt Castiel, Mental Health Issues, Quote Inspired, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-08
Updated: 2012-11-08
Packaged: 2017-11-18 05:37:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/557478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightning_Bee/pseuds/Lightning_Bee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't step on that fish, Castiel, big plans for that fish." Castiel uses the smallest memory to stay strong in the worst of times. Spoilers for S5, S6 and S7. No pairings. Oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Smallest Memory in a Desperate Time

**** A/N: Starring Gabriel, Castiel and the little grey fish!  Enjoy! Please R&R.  
Pairings: None  
Disclaimer: What it says on the tin 

**_“I remember being at a shoreline, watching a little grey fish heave itself up on the beach. And an older brother saying, ‘Don't step on that fish, Castiel, big plans for that fish.’”_ **

He had no control over his body, the leviathans were in command, and he knew he was going to die. Yet he couldn’t help but think about that one insignificant moment in his life. That fish had gathered the determination to pull itself out of the water but he, an angel of the lord, could not muster the strength to defeat a dangerous foe. He couldn’t avoid the feeling that the fish had been better than him and it is as he steps into the lake that he remembers exactly which brother had been with him the day he had watched that fish. 

It had been Gabriel, before the archangel had left heaven and shortly before Lucifer’s first fall. He had been just as full of laughter and smiles then as he had been the last time Castiel had seen him and, though they had been almost complete opposites, the younger angel had admired his brother. Most angels had called Gabriel a coward when he had run away but Castiel had never judged him. He did not feel he had the right and he held Gabriel in too high esteem to ever question his actions. Time, however, had faded Gabriel’s face in his mind until now when it was too late and the archangel was dead with Castiel soon to join him.

Yet, Castiel did not die.

Instead, he lost his memories and when found had been pretty much adopted by a strange woman who named him through the use of an even stranger website. The woman had then soon become his wife until fate decided he should remember who he was once more. The ‘fish memory’ as he nicknamed it was one of his first to regain and seeing Gabriel’s face so bright and wise he had felt so strong. Gabriel had been a hero in the end and Castiel wanted to imitate that. So when he realised he couldn’t heal Sam he knew what he had to do and had drawn on the memory for bravery.

Now the memory was all that he had left as the image of Lucifer tormented him relentlessly but he would not allow the visions to break him. He would be strong in his desperation, just like that little grey fish.

Just like Gabriel.


End file.
